First "potential match" situation

We received an email yesterday from our adoption agency about "a potential birth mother situation". There was a young woman in Texas who was due any day and had decided to pursue adoption. So we submitted our interest to the agency and went back to the waiting game. This was the first time we have been faced with an opportunity that felt real, so the "waiting" became a whole different thing. Now, waiting consisted of checking email every 15 seconds for any kind of update or news.

Every single time I saw the New Message icon my stomach dropped and my heart raced - only to find out the latest sale from Crate & Barrel or Las Vegas casino deal we'd love to take but can't. We have no way of knowing how many of our agency's clients expressed interest in this opportunity, let alone how many other agencies were contacted. All we could think about was the very real possibility that we'd be driving to Texas. We started looking at Google Maps to try to figure out where this place was (in the middle of nowhere), and where we might set up remote Baby Camp Stenny for the few weeks we would likely be required to stay "in-country". Probably somewhere in the DFW area. Yeah, that seems good...

Needless to say, it was not an easy night's sleep for either of us. To put things into perspective, we have never made it to Christmas morning to exchange gifts. Patience in a time of excitement does not come easy to the Stenberg household. Making things even more complicated and emotional was the knowledge that Matt had to be in North Carolina next week for a certification exam and dealing with the very recent death of our beloved dog Harvey. Seemed about the right time for fate to throw some more complication into the mix. We weren't exactly sure how, but we were definitely prepared to take all of these things in stride and be in Texas if we were selected.

This morning, around 11AM, we received an email from our agency informing us that the birth mother had selected another family. Statistically, the odds were not in our favor. However, it's hard not to be disappointed. There are a few positives to take from this most recent experience. First, we have gone through the offer/non-selection process so we know what to expect and how to deal with it. Secondly, the level of anxiety and emotions that we both felt has reaffirmed how much both of us want a baby. We are so lucky to have a partner who understands and is having the same feelings during these times.

The most important result of this is that a child has found/will find a very loving home. These birth parents (I neglected to mention that the birth father was also involved in the decision to seek adoption) will be able to give their baby an opportunity for a life that might not have been otherwise possible. The area of Texas in question is one of considerable poverty and the details of the birth parents lives that we received sounded pretty rough even without the difficulties of raising a child.

So now it's back to the previous level of waiting. Our time and opportunity will come, we just have to try to leave those wrapped presents under the tree a little longer. Eventually the greatest gift will come our way.

Love,

Kristy & Matt

Waiting

This is the stage of the process we've fondly come to know as "hurry up and wait."  Months of gathering information and references, and now there's nothing for us to do.  It feels a lot like finishing school, or what I imagine it feels like to retire.  We've become accustomed to following all the steps and filling out all of the paperwork as quikly as possible, and now that the approval stage is over I come home at night and think there must be something I should be doing. This is the waiting stage, it's pretty much out of our hands now.

The websites all say this is the time to prepare. In the circumstance of a pregnancy, the couple spends their 9 months prior to the baby's arrival to prepare their home and enjoy their last days as a family of two.  Not knowing if our "pregnancy" will be a few weeks or many months we're finding it hard to start the preparations. So for now, we'll just start with the little things--painting the baby's room, buying the essentials...We'll wait, and we'll keep our fingers crossed that the wait isn't too long.